


The Light Behind Your Eyes

by ABirdInFlight



Category: The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, Gen, Mom Eda, Spoilers for Young Blood Old Souls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-08-31
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:21:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26208604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ABirdInFlight/pseuds/ABirdInFlight
Summary: SPOILERS FOR YOUNG BLOOD, OLD SOULS. After escaping from Emperor Belos and healing Eda, Eda, Luz, and Lilith begin to process what just happened. These mamas were not, in fact, ready for trauma.
Relationships: Eda Clawthorne & Lilith Clawthorne, Eda Clawthorne & Luz Noceda
Comments: 26
Kudos: 336





	The Light Behind Your Eyes

Slowly, the little orb of light trickled it’s way up into the sky, floating up and up, past the clouds, past even the stars. Eda’s eyes remained fixed on it long after it had disappeared, becoming just another twinkle in the night sky. A kind of emptiness clawed at her throat, swirled in her gut. That light had been magic- but it wasn’t  _ her _ magic. 

A weight against her side yanked her out of her thoughts, dragging Eda back down to earth. She tore her gaze away from the spot the light had disappeared, fixing her gaze on the child beside her. Luz’s eyes had slipped closed, and instead of standing upright she had leaned more fully against Eda. Despite herself, the older witch smiled. Thinking of lights, she was glad that at least this one hadn't gone out today.

“Getting tired, kiddo?” she asked, ruffling the girl’s hair. Luz smiled, but her eyes stayed shut. In her arms, King was already asleep- but weightlessness did have that effect on him. 

“No.”

“Uh-huh,” Eda said, shaking her head. “Come on, inside.” Gently, she peeled Luz away from her and maneuvered the girl towards the Owl House, where Hooty was waiting to let them in. Eda shoved Luz forward, inside, and glanced back. She locked mismatched eyes with the matching pair of her sister. Lilith stood back from the group, arms wrapped around herself, uncertain. 

Eda did not smile. But she did nod her head towards the house. Lilith gave a weak smile, and followed the group across Hooty’s threshold. 

“All right Luz, up to bed,” Eda said once they were inside, pulling King out of her student’s arms. She set him on the couch, the demon only grumbling slightly before curling up on the cushions. When she turned back, Luz still stood in the center of the living room, clearly awake again and rocking on the balls of her feet. Eda crossed her arms.

“Come on kid, I know you’re exhausted,” she said, crossing the room to stand in front of Luz. Luz didn’t speak, only bit her lip, and looked down and away. Eda frowned. Something was on Luz’s mind. 

Her question was answered when the girl launched herself at Eda again, burying her head in Eda’s chest. 

“Woah, hey,” Eda said, confused for a moment but returning the embrace regardless. She was never gonna be able to get away with pretending to be confused by hugs again. “Hey, kid, it’s okay. I’m okay.”

“Can you stay with me tonight?” Luz mumbled, her voice muffled by Eda’s dress. Her grip around Eda’s waist tightened, like she was afraid Eda might disappear if she let go. Eda bit her own lip, for she understood. She understood exactly what Luz was feeling. Resting one hand on the back of her head, Eda nodded.

“Sure,” she said, pushing Luz back so she could look at her. “But I’ll be up in a minute, okay? I need to talk to my sister.” Eda narrowed her eyes, glancing over to where Lilith stood awkwardly by the door. Luz followed Eda’s gaze and glared. 

“Okay,” she said. “But if she tries anything, I’ll-”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Eda interrupted, squeezing Luz’s shoulders. “She can’t hurt us anymore, remember? No magic.” She gave a crooked smile, which Luz returned just as halfheartedly. But she nodded, and Eda let her go. 

“I’m right behind you, ‘kay?” Luz spared Lilith one last withering glare, and then reluctantly dragged herself out of the living room and up the stairs. Eda stared after her until she was out of sight and the sound of the bedroom door closing could be heard. Then, and only then, did she turn to face her sister. 

Lilith. The sight of her sent a myriad of confusing emotions swarming through Eda- this was her sister, her childhood best friend, the only member of her biological family she had left. This was also the person who’d spent the better part of two decades trying to hunt her down and drag her into a coven, who’d cursed her, and perhaps most egregiously of all, had hurt Luz. 

The rest, Eda might have forgiven. But as she looked at Lilith now, all she could see was her sister’s smirk as she’d pushed Luz off a bridge. They stared at each other for a while, Eda frowning with her arms crossed, Lilith looking sheepish. 

“I...must admit, I never really imagined you in such a...maternal role,” Lilith finally said. Eda’s gaze narrowed.

“Can it, sis,” she said, stepping forward. “Listen, the only reason I’m letting you stay here is because if I didn’t, Belos would hunt you down in a minute.” Lilith had the good sense to look guilty.

“Edalyn, I...I never meant for all this to happen,” she said, wringing her hands. “I promise you, I was only trying to make up for what I’d done. All this time, I just wanted to heal you.” 

“I know,” Eda said, but her voice was cold. “But you still did it. Do you have  _ any _ idea what it’s been like, living with this? Twenty years, Lily,  _ twenty years _ of my life!” Lilith flinched.

“I...Edalyn, please, I never meant for this to happen. I thought it would only weaken you for a day, I never meant-” 

“Oh gee thanks, that makes it  _ all  _ better,” Eda sneered. “I don’t care what you thought, you still cursed me! And I had to live with the consequences!” Lilith’s lip trembled, but it only enraged Eda more. How  _ dare  _ her sister be the one crying, when it was  _ Eda _ who had been suffering alone for the better part of two decades, trying and failing to stave off the effects with disgusting elixirs and weakened magic. 

“I...I’m  _ sorry _ , Edalyn.”

“You’re damn right you’re sorry,” Eda retorted. She advanced on Lilith, eyes narrowed to slits. “But you know what’s worse? You didn’t just go after me. No, you had to drag Luz into this mess too. She had  _ nothing _ to do with it!” 

“I…”

“ _ Save it, _ ” Eda snapped, jabbing a finger at her sister’s chest. “I don’t wanna hear your excuses. You could have  _ killed _ her, Lilith!” Lilith stepped back, and the tears she’d been holding back leaked down her cheeks. It made Eda want to scream and stop her tirade at the same time. 

“...you’re right,” Lilith said, swiping at her eyes. “You’re right, and I...I apologize. I have nothing to say for myself.” She folded her hands in front of her and averted her gaze. Eda’s lip curled- part of her  _ wanted _ Lilith to fight back, if only to give her an excuse to rage and scream and hurt  _ someone _ as payback for everything that had happened that day, for everything that had _been_ happening to her since that terrible day at the duel- but Lilith didn’t so much as blink. Eda drew back, folding her arms again. 

“You’ll sleep on the couch for now,” Eda said, turning her back on her sister and moving to fetch King. She would be keeping her family- her  _ real _ family- close to her that night. She scooped the demon king up into her arms, who stirred slightly but didn’t wake. She meant to leave then, to march up the stairs and not think about it for the rest of the night, but as she reached the opening of the hallway, Eda caught one last look at Lilith, and changed her mind. She wasn't done just yet. 

“If you so much as  _ look _ at Luz the wrong way again, so help me I’ll kick your sorry butt out on the streets. Got it?” she warned, fixing her sister with an icy glare.

“I understand,” Lilith said with a nod, bowing her head.

“I mean it, Lily. You don’t touch her, you don’t even  _ speak _ to her unless she speaks to you first. You hear me?”

“Yes, Edalyn.” 

Eda gave her a long, hard look. But when Lilith said nothing, just continued to stand there contritely, Eda softened. Her gaze fell briefly on the gray strand in Lilith’s hair. 

“All right,” she said, “‘night, sis.” 

“Good night...sister.” 

Eda left and didn’t look back as she made her way up the stairs. She tried not to think about all the tangled up emotions in her heart, tried not to think about Lily at all. Besides, Luz needed her now. She stopped at the door to Luz’s bedroom and took a breath, raising her hand to knock. But then she heard talking, and her fist stayed where it was.

“Deja una luz puesta para mi. Te quiero.” 

Eda recognized it as the human language she didn’t know, the one Luz shared with her real mother. Eda frowned, expecting to hear the muffled sound of a voice answering Luz back through her communication box. It would make sense, if Luz had opened the portal to finally talk to her mother, after everything that had happened today. Eda wouldn’t intrude on that. No matter what she felt in her heart, she knew damn well that Luz  _ wasn’t _ her kid. 

But no voice came, and Luz didn’t speak again either. So after a moment, Eda knocked. 

“Eda? Is that you?”

“Yeah, it’s me kid,” Eda said, pushing the door open. Luz lay on her stomach in her sleeping bag, several lights floating around her head. A lump suddenly rose in her throat, completely unbidden, as the realization that those lights could have gone out forever popped into her head. She swallowed and cleared her throat. “King too, but he’s still knocked out.” Eda set him on the end of Luz’s sleeping bag, then plopped down onto the floor next to Luz. Luz sat up, crossing her legs as she scooted closer to Eda. She scratched the top of King’s skull briefly.

“Did you talk to Lilith?”

“Yeah. Just laid down a few ground rules. Nothing serious,” Eda said, and it was only half a lie. Luz’s hand fell away from King’s head, and she leaned against Eda’s side. 

“I know what we can do with her,” she said, shooting Eda a smaller version of her usual mischievous smile. “She can get Hooty cleaning duty for the next...forever.” 

“Ha!” Eda couldn’t help but laugh, slapping her leg. “I like the way you think, kiddo.”

“Revenge is a dish best served covered in mud.” Eda laughed again, shaking her head. Privately, she thanked the Titan that Luz still had her spark. The last thing Eda ever wanted was to see it go out. Whatever had happened that day, Luz was still Luz, and Eda was more relieved than she cared to admit.

But then Luz snaked her arms around Eda’s waist again, pressing her face against her side. 

“I missed you, Eda,” she said quietly. Eda frowned.

“I was only gone a day, Luz,” she said, raising an eyebrow. Luz just squeezed her harder.

“I know, but I thought...I thought…” she trailed off, sniffling, and Eda braced herself. Sure enough, next thing she knew, Luz had burst into tears. 

“Woah, woah, kiddo it’s...it’s okay,” Eda faltered, drawing Luz into her arms the way she’d tried to before, when she was a giant owl stuck in chains. This was much easier.

“I was so  _ scared _ ,” Luz wailed. Eda shifted their position slightly, so that Luz was sitting up on her knees and could bury her face into Eda’s neck. Eda rested her chin on the top of Luz’s head, wondering at how she could feel such a  _ sharp _ pain in her chest at Luz being so upset. 

“I get it,” Eda said softly, “I was scared too today.” Luz sniffed loudly, peeling away just enough so she could look Eda in the eyes.

“You were?” she asked, rubbing the snot off the end of her nose. She looked down again, scrubbing at her eyes. “I mean, of course you were, you almost got...got…” Eda didn't let Luz finish that sentence.

“I know,” she interrupted. “But that’s not what I meant.” 

“It’s not?”

“No.” Eda pushed Luz back a little more, and tipped the girl’s chin up so she could meet Eda’s eyes. Luz’s chin wobbled dangerously, and Eda felt her own eyes growing misty at the sight. She gave a small huff, and tried to keep her voice steady. “I was scared for  _ you _ , Luz.”

Luz gave a small gasp as fat tears leaked out of her eyes again. Eda brushed them aside with a swipe of her thumb. She hated this, she hated this kind of mushy stuff, and she hated the way she felt like she might just break down right along with her student. She took a deep breath- keep it together, she told herself. Just keep it together.

“Me?” Luz whimpered, like she couldn’t believe it. And Eda couldn’t believe that  _ she _ couldn’t believe it.

“Well duh,” Eda said gently, pushing a bit of Luz’s hair behind her ears. When had she gotten so touchy-feely? “I thought I might lose you.” Luz sniffed again, reaching up to grab Eda’s wrist. She turned her head to press her cheek against the palm of Eda’s hand, squeezing her eyes shut.

“Me too,” she whispered, “I thought I’d lose you too, and I didn’t...I didn’t know what to do, Eda.” She gave an abrupt laugh. “I didn’t even have a  _ plan, _ I just…I just couldn’t let them hurt you, when it was my fault-”

“Luz, no,” Eda said suddenly, pushing Luz away to grab her by the shoulders. “Didn't you hear what I said earlier? I made the choice when I let you stay with me that I was going to protect you. It was  _ my _ choice to use up my magic, and  _ my _ choice to give myself up to Belos. You got that?”

Luz’s lip trembled, but after a moment, she finally nodded. Eda sighed. 

“Look, I meant what I said back there. Belos has been after me for a long time now,” Eda said. “And when I took you in I wasn’t honest with you about that. And that’s on me.” She paused for a moment, considering her next words carefully, which was hard for someone like Eda who was so used to flying by the seat of her pants. But this was about Luz, not her own skin for once. She couldn't afford to be reckless with her words as she so often was.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…” Eda blew a bit of hair away from her face. “What I mean is, I knew when I let you stay with me that it might be dangerous. But I let you stay anyway, because I thought I could protect you. But I messed up. I got too cocky, kid.” 

Luz swiped her eyes again and sniffed, fixing Eda with a questioning stare that told her Luz wasn’t totally convinced. She sighed again.

“I’m saying this is my fault Luz, not yours. I didn’t warn you how dangerous the Isles could be and I didn’t warn you enough about Belos. Okay? So I don’t want you blaming yourself.”

Luz responded by leaning her head against Eda’s shoulder and sniffing loudly. Eda shook her head, but scooped Luz back into her arms and let her stay. And stay she did, until her tears slowed and her sniffles quieted. Eda ran her hand up and down Luz’s back in a way she hoped was soothing. The minutes ticked past, but still she stayed, as long as Luz needed. After a while she thought maybe Luz had fallen asleep, until the girl startled Eda by speaking again.

“...you can’t try to send me away again,” she mumbled. 

“What?” 

“Portal’s broken.”

“..... _ what? _ ” 

“I destroyed it. Like you said.” Luz pulled her head back and rubbed her eye. “Used a fire glyph.” 

Eda’s mouth fell open- she’d meant for Luz to do that  _ after _ she was back in the human realm, not here! The implications hit her like a ton of bricks to the gut. The portal was gone. Luz was stuck here. Belos couldn’t use the portal. But Luz couldn’t get home. 

A selfish part of her was glad. The other part was in shock. 

“Luz…”

“S’okay,” Luz said sleepily, leaning back against Eda and shutting her eyes. “We’ll find another way back.” Eda’s heart lurched uncomfortably- this kid had so much faith in her, it hurt. Luz’s home on earth was a mystery to Eda- the girl didn’t talk about it much- but she had to assume it was a real blow to lose her way back. Even the worst of families were still, well,  _ family _ . Eda had proof of that banished to the couch downstairs. 

“I’m sorry, kid,” Eda murmured, but this time it seemed Luz really had fallen asleep, for she didn’t respond. Eda stared down at her, her brave girl snuggled up against her side. Despite everything, she couldn’t help but smile. 

“All right, bed time,” she said, gently pulling Luz away. With some effort she lifted Luz just enough so that she could lay her down in her sleeping bag. Luz stirred, blearily peeking her eyes open as Eda pulled the covers up over her shoulder. 

“Stay?” she asked, grabbing Eda’s hand. Helpless to deny Luz anything, and because she had promised earlier, Eda could only nod. 

“Okay,” she said, laying on her side next to her on the ground. This wasn’t going to be the most comfortable night’s sleep she’d ever have, but as Luz snuggled in and buried her nose against Eda’s chest, she decided she didn’t really care. She’d had worse nights by far. Luz smiled, already half asleep again, and Eda ran a hand through her hair. 

“Love you, kiddo.” 

“...te quiero, Eda.” 

Eda knew, then, what it meant. 

**Author's Note:**

> I know I know, the joke in the summary is dumb lol. I just needed some quick catharsis after the end of this season. I love the way the episode ended, but I felt like there were a few emotional loose ends- namely whether or not Eda was ready to forgive Lilith (I decided not yet), and that Luz really needed to cry and hug it out with Eda. Poor girl's been going through it. 
> 
> ...sorry for fridging King. He needed sleep.
> 
> (The title of this fic is from an MCR song of the same name. Don't listen to it and think about Eda singing it to Luz. Don't do it.)
> 
> For those following Something About Ember Island, an update for that will come sometime this week. The chapter is done, it just needs some editing. Peace!


End file.
